FindingHappiness

I just realized I’m failing at everything.

I’m doing barely average in school, and am straight up failing chemistry. 

I’m failing at my on campus job. I never seem to do what I need to do, and especially not in a timely manner.

I’m coasting at my off campus job but I feel like its just a matter of time before I get assigned a project that’s too much for me.

But the thing about coasting is I know there’s so much more I could be doing and how I could be excelling so coasting feels like a failure.

I’m failing at exercising. I can’t remember the last time I went on a real run.

I’m failing at tennis. I’ve missed the last few practices because I’m fucking up in school. Failure all around.

I’m failing socially. I’m struggling to make a real connection with the girls I’m living with. My best friends are all pledging and consequently not around much. I’m fucking up with the kid I’m crushing on. 

I look like shit. I literally looked like I had two black eyes this morning. 

I’m failing at eating and have cheated consistently over the past few days, eating a few piece of candy (can’y have gluten or dairy). Consequently my skin looks like shit. 

I’ll explain tomorrow hopefully if I get a chance, maybe wednesday 

Gonna try a 3.5 (84 hr) fast. From 10 pm tonight to 10 am friday. Or maybe 3 days, because I will almost 100% be drinking on thursday. 

guess who’s backkkk!